


If I can't have forever, I'll take today

by bluesaturn



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apocalypse, Asteroid - Freeform, End of the World, Family Feels, Fluff, Heavy Angst, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, questionable science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24135181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesaturn/pseuds/bluesaturn
Summary: I love you, it’s said in every word, every gesture, every touch he and Connor share.I’m not ready to let you go, is what he thinks between every single kiss and he’s not sure how, but it feels as if Connor hears him. He sees every singleI wanted forever with you, in each of Connor’s sad smiles and it heals and breaks his heart all at the same time.An Asteroid has set course to hit the Earth, destroying all life on it if it does.
Relationships: Cole Anderson & Connor, Cole Anderson & Hank Anderson, Hank Anderson/Connor
Comments: 12
Kudos: 52





	If I can't have forever, I'll take today

**Author's Note:**

> In this AU, Cole is still alive and a younger child. Hank and Connor were still work partners and started dating soon after the revolution.
> 
> I originally was gonna write a sad ending, but that depressed me too much, so... have some fluff instead :D  
> still, uh, sorry, for probably making you all cry again.

They know that the world is ending exactly three weeks prior. _Know_ , is perhaps a bit of an exaggeration but it’s the first time they have a genuine reason to be scared. 

Hank doesn’t even remember the first time he hears the word “Asteroid”. It had seemed insignificant back then, just another one heading towards Earth but failing to miss it. One like so many others before. 

Except it isn’t one like many others and that much is clear as he listens to the news that evening. Their president seems tense, as he makes an address to the people that many people will probably find calming. Hank as a cop, however, can see straight through the bullshit legal talk for “‘It’s all gonna be alright, don’t panic” and what he hears underneath scares him. 

He has something to live for these days, a family to call his own. A long time ago he hadn’t had that. He’s not exactly sure when he stopped wanting to die. If it was after having Cole or after having met Connor or sometime in between. All he knows is that these days he cares whether he lives or dies. Not just for them, but for himself as well. 

He’s stared death into the eyes more times than he can count by now, not surprising given his line of work. But he never wants Cole to face that same fear as well. It’s a parent’s worst nightmare, he thinks. Connor already knows the feeling, anyway, but it still feels unfair, after everything he has had to go through. 

He can see the LED on his temple blinking between yellow and red at the newscast and isn’t surprised that he too seems to have picked up on the actual meaning. 

Hank turns off the television, not wanting Cole to see any of this, in case he can’t sleep again and comes downstairs, searching for them. He holds out his hand and a second later Connor is in his arms and Hank holds onto him tight, like he never wants to let go. 

It’s Connor who breaks their silence first.  
“You know, NASA has had plans for things like this for years, I’m sure we’ll be fine.”  
Hank can perfectly tell by Connor’s voice when he isn’t being sincere these days and he knows it’s not what Connor truly thinks. That makes it all the scarier, but he doesn’t say anything about it.  
They’ll lie to each other for a little while, for as long as it takes to be safe again. (Or until the very last day, but he won’t think about it right now. He’s always been good at avoidance.) 

It still takes a while for him to realize that this is real, this time and that there’s a good chance he’ll never get to see his son grow up. It makes him crave a drink for the first time in years. 

It’s a week before the Asteroid is supposed to hit Earth and experts don’t seem any closer to having found a solution. Hank hates to admit it, even to himself, but he doesn’t think there is any. While Connor insists there are experts working on this far more qualified than him, Hank has his doubts. Connor is by far the smartest person he has ever met and that isn’t just because he’s a walking computer. 

His partner has spent the past week hunched over his desk, calculating and coming up with ideas inside his head, on Hank’s laptop, hell, he’s even tried writing on _paper_. Hank never thought he’d see the day. Connor has been talking to Markus and other members of Jericho as well, hoping someone might have an idea on how to fix this. He still hasn’t found a solution and Hank is starting to suspect that might be because there simply isn’t one. 

Right now, Connor is sitting at their kitchen table, clearly lost in thought and twiddling with his ring finger, where an engagement ring is soon supposed to be. It’s a subject that has been on Hank’s mind a lot these past few days. They wanted to schedule their wedding for November, on the anniversary of the day they first met. It’s a little sentimental, but Connor makes him want to do those things.

Technically they’re not even really engaged yet but that is only because Hank had planned to propose to him properly some time. Of course, now they’re not sure there will even be a proposal or a wedding. It sucks and he can tell Connor hates it too. He was really looking forward to getting to call this goofy looking man his husband for the rest of his life. 

It’s a cliche at this point, he knows, but with everything going on he understands. So Hank can’t stop himself from asking.  
“Wanna get married today?”, Hank asks and Connor looks up at him surprised as if he’s forgotten that Hank is still sitting next to him as well.  
“Yes,” is the immediate answer, followed by a smile.

After that Connor frowns however and a long time ago, Hank would have seen that as a sign of rejection, too focused on his own shortcomings. Today, he can guess what Connor is upset about, knows him well enough for that.

“It feels like giving up,” Connor mumbles and Hank knows what he means.  
The only reason to get married right now is because they don’t believe they will survive until November to be able to get married then.  
Hank doesn’t know how to comfort him, ‘cause they both know it’s a real possibility.  
“I’d marry you in a junkyard, you know,” Hank offers and takes his hand.  
That at least makes Connor laugh and it’s the best he can do for now. 

They head down to the courthouse the next morning. Both of them are dressed in simple black suits they found somewhere in the back of their closet. All that can be said for Cole’s outfit is that it at least doesn’t have ketchup stains on it for once. 

The courthouse is full and the employees clearly overworked, but Hank can’t manage to care about the waiting time, because he gets to walk out of there with his _husband_ by his side.  
They stumble back home, marriage license in hand and big smiles on their faces, that are only slightly touched by sadness. 

The days go by far faster than they have any right to and with each morning that Hank wakes up, it becomes a more real, tangible thing. Something he can’t pretend isn’t happening, no matter how hard he tries. Connor seems more hopeless with each passing minute and Hank doesn’t know how to fix that. 

It seems so incredibly unfair, after the entire revolution and everything they had to go through. At least Hank has lived a life, Connor is barely even starting his. There are still so many things he has yet to experience and Hank wanted to show all of them to him. 

They hold onto each other and Cole, their little family the only thing they have right now.  
Hank doesn’t know how to explain any of it to Cole, keeps him just away from all of it as much as he can, but the kid has always been too smart for his own good. He knows something is wrong.  
Luckily, he’s still too young to be as terrified as Hank feels. 

But Hank can’t shake the thought of him never growing up, never getting married, never getting his first job. _If_ he even wants to do things like getting married and having kids, Cole will never get to find out. It stings.

Connor and Hank spend the last few days inseparable. They’re always hugging, cuddling, touching in some way. It’s grounding and Hank tries to hold onto whatever piece of sanity he has left.  
They don’t tune into the news anymore, both know what they’re saying anyway, it’s impossible to escape. 

_I love you_ , it’s said in every word, every gesture, every touch he and Connor share. _I’m not ready to let you go_ , is what he thinks between every single kiss and he’s not sure how, but it feels as if Connor hears him. He sees every single _I wanted forever with you_ , in each of Connor’s sad smiles and it heals and breaks his heart all at the same time.  
_But if I can’t have forever, I’ll take today._ Connor bleeds that with every word and every gesture. 

It’s not fair, it’s not fair, but this world never has been. There will be no one left to remember the way Connor smiles, or the way he feels in his arms. There won’t be a single person alive, who can put Cole’s drawings up on the fridge, where they belong. That part hurts most of all, though he isn’t sure why.

Hank ends up talking to people he hasn’t talked to in years. Old friends, colleagues, family members he had thought had long forgotten about him. His ex-wife calls him once to talk about himself, not Cole and that more than anything feels like the end of the world is near.

She comes over one day, to spend one last day with her son as well. She tells him how happy she is that Connor and Hank found each other. They talk like adults who cared about each other a lot once and it heals a part of his soul he didn’t think still needed fixing. To see that they can be okay. He hugs her at the end of the day for the first time in years and Connor watches all of it with a sad smile on his face. 

His favorite call has got to be the one they get from Gavin Reed. He asks to speak to Connor and actually apologizes for being a piece of shit to him. Hank has never before in his life heard Reed apologize for anything. It would be nice, under other circumstances, maybe, but right now it just feels sad. 

Hank briefly wonders if Reed feels like he has anything to atone for, like maybe he’s as scared as Hank that whatever comes after might not be the nicest place, because of all the mistakes he has made. 

Hank grew up with slightly religious parents. Once upon a time, he had believed in a life after death, that there would be something waiting for him on the other side. He’s long thrown that belief out the window.  
Now he thinks there isn’t anything waiting for him there and it makes it all the harder.

Even if there was, he doubts it would include Connor, someone who isn’t even supposed to be alive in the first place. He can still hear Connor’s voice ringing in his ears. _I doubt there’s a heaven for Androids._ And yeah, Hank doubts that too. So he doesn’t cling onto that hope, because it’s pointless. Like anything could be heaven for him if Connor isn’t there. 

The last day approaches so steadily, that it almost feels like a fever dream. Of course, no one knows for sure if it will be the last day definitely, they might have a little bit more time, give or take. But it feels somber waking up that morning, knowing the end of the world is close. 

This isn’t how Hank had expected it would go down. If he’d taken a guess, it would have been global warming, maybe war. An Asteroid had seemed pretty far down the list of possibilities. He’d never expected to find his whole life turned upside down in just a matter of weeks. 

But he gets to wake up next to Connor, at least one last time and he can count the freckles on his face, the moles on his arms. He looks peaceful when he’s sleeping, (tho Connor would insist it’s not sleeping, it’s close enough, Hank really doesn’t fucking care for semantics) and Hank carefully brushes a hand through his hair. 

Connor’s eyes flutter open at this and he looks at Hank with a look so full of love that it makes Hank’s heart ache.

“Morning,” Connor mumbles with a soft voice and smiles at Hank, so warm and bittersweet. Hank wants to stop time right now and stay in this moment forever.  
Connor lying next to him, with this adorable smile on his face and Cole shouting for them, because he’s drawn another picture and wants to show it to them. It’s perfection, pure and simple and Hank wants another million mornings like this. 

“I love you,” he says.  
Once upon a time, he had a hard time saying those words, but Connor makes even that easy. Hank feels like a teenager again, in love for the very first time and he wants to scream those words from the rooftops, wants everyone to know just how much Connor means to him.  
“I love you too,” Connor answers immediately and then his husband kisses him softly.  
Shortly after that, the whole world goes to hell. 

Connor’s LED is blinking red and yellow as he gets some new information and then smiles at Hank with a sad look in his eyes.  
“It shouldn’t be long now,” he says and Hank tries to nod but it feels as if he can’t get his body to move.  
“Come on,” Connor says softly and helps Hank out of bed. “We should go to Cole,” he says and that is what finally makes Hank feel as if he can move his legs again.  
He wants to be with his son, spend these last few moments they have together as a family. 

They walk into their kid’s room and find Cole sitting on a small table, working on his art. There are pencils and paint thrown around everywhere, but Hank doesn’t care. Cole is smiling and for now, that is all that matters. 

He and Connor sit down on the ground next to Cole and their son grins at them as he holds up the painting he’s so proud of. It’s of their family - Hank, Connor, Cole, Sumo, all together on the beach. They haven’t been there since Connor became a part of the family as well and the thought makes Hank’s heart ache. 

“It’s great,” Connor says and smiles, as he ruffles Cole’s hair.  
“Can we have a beach day soon?”, Cole asks and Hank’s happy he might have at least succeeded in keeping Cole as far away from all this as possible.  
Lying to his child seems the best option in this case.  
“Sure, buddy,” he promises and wishes he’d taken some of his vacation days a little sooner.

Then Hank wraps his arms around Cole and presses a kiss on his temple.  
“I love you, champ,” he says and feels Connor wrap his arms around them both, mumbling about how much he loves Cole.

Cole giggles at the slightly unusual display of affection but returns the hug.  
“I love you too,” he says and then grabs two pieces of paper. “Wanna draw something with me?” 

Hank has never been a huge fan of art but he grabs the paper without complaint this morning. The only thing one can hear is pencils sliding over paper, while they’re waiting for the end of the world. 

It doesn’t come. Somewhere halfway through Connor drawing his second sheep, his LED blinks yellow and Hank can see the emotions on his face clear as day. Surprise. Relief. Happiness. Love. Always love.  
It gives Hank hope for the first time in weeks.

“Hank?”, Connor asks and Hank follows him outside the room, leaving Cole to paint by himself for a while.  
It almost physically hurts to leave the room. 

“I just got a message from Markus. It looks as if they’ve managed to knock the Asteroid of course. It seems highly unlikely Earth will be hit, much less Detroit.”  
It takes a moment for the words to sink in, but when they do, Hank feels lighter than he has in years.  
He pulls Connor into his arms and kisses him tenderly.  
This kiss says _I’m so thankful for being alive with you._  
Every tender touch screams _I’m never letting you go._

“So we’re gonna be alright?”, Hank asks and Connor’s carefree smile might be the most beautiful thing he has seen in his entire life.  
“Yes, I think we just might be.”

It takes a while for life to return back to normal and even then, something is a little bit different than before. Hank is glad when they can finally get to take the beach vacation he has promised Cole. It’s another step towards normalcy but it’s also something Hank just needs.

When he gets down on one knee in the sand on the third day, Connor looks so happy he wants to kiss every inch of his skin, time and time again. 

Hank barely gets out his speech and a _will you marry me_ , but he still feels like Connor deserves a proper proposal. A memory they can cherish later down the road.

“Technically we’re already married,” Connor answers with amusement in his voice.  
“Fucking Androids”, Hank mumbles but it’s not a biting remark, these days it’s more like an endearment.  
“Humans”, Connor huffs and lets Hank put another ring on his finger. “Yes. I would love to marry you again”, he says and then kisses Hank until he runs out of breath.

Connor stares at the ring on his finger with a look that says _I am so lucky to be your husband_ and actually Hank is the one who should be looking at him like that.  
They hold onto each other for a long time and Hank wishes he could store every single second of this moment in his memory forever, the same way Connor does. Hank kisses him again, softer this time, and everything finally feels alright again. The final kiss whispers _You’re my home._


End file.
